Journal I haven't slept at all lately. I keep staying up too late and waking up too early. I've been running off of prozac, protein shakes and a dream. I'm worried about going back to work, I feel as if I'm unwanted lmao. I'm just a person who thinks the world revolves around them. I also found a cricket in my apartment and literally has a breakdown because I used to live in infested apartments from roaches and I thought it was a roach. My fiance said it's just a cricket and to not be scared. I feel like they're lying to me. Last time I saw a roach I literally became a Buddhist monk and got rid of all my worldly possessions.
I finally got back on my meciation after literally raw-dogging life. Three days so far on mood stabilizers, and I guess the fact I got back into coding after a dry spell lasting about 4 years is a good sign the medication is working so far. I also was able to cope with being at a 12 hour shift yesterday without having a mental breakdown. I just kinda slid by it all. The side effects I'm feeling kinda suck, I randomly lose my balance and eat shit but I guess it's all worth a brain that works. I'm trying really hard to not get freaked out and take my other one but I always forget. If I feel this good off 1 mood stabalizer, IMAGINE TWO?!