Thsi week has completely kicked my fucking ass. I have had nothing but the worst time I think. First, I was put on a new medication that made me gain 8 pounds in a week; so, all the progress I have made in my weightloss journey has been completely reversed. Also, I went manic for a bit and spent more money then I should have because I was terrified of taking my medication. I've been super paranoid about my pills because I can genuinely feel the changes in my frontal lobe.
Also, I quit my job like three days ago. I literally couldn't take the way they treated me, and I know they treat me like that because I'm dumb and docile. I just knew that getting screamed at like a child wasn't going to change any time soon and no matter what the clique they formed with the higher ups has basically secured them. I just said I'm going home and in fifteen minutes my boss recieved an email saying I'm resigning. I didn't call or text, I just emailed. No one said a word, you would think spending 2 years with a company someone would say soemthing.
Was it mania? Or was it just me being a dumbass? We may never know.
I feel like I am not doing enough to contribute, and that all my attempts is just hurting those around me. I wish people could understand my drive, my need to never stop and to keep going but it seems like I exhaust everyone around me. I want to go out and do things, run around try new things. I hate staying home, I hate being a homebody and just sitting I have nothing to do. Maybe that's why I started this website because I feel like I need to give myself a task to occupy myself but I can't even sit still enought to do that. I crave constant change and when everything is the same I feel so suffocated. I don't know what that's called.
